The day before purgation, I stayed in the sweat box a little too long. It was only 10 minutes, but I was enjoying the hissing of the steam and the heat on my body, as well as the dew drops forming on my forehead...I was fantasizing about the kabuki spa with my eyes closed...suddenly, Dr. Shubha was standing directly in front of me with a look of consternation and concern. "You are sweating," [concerned head wobble] "you must get out now" as she opened the sweat box door and cool air came pouring into my fantasy. I later realized that I should've listened to the Dr and gotten our when I was merely warm. My arm was in great pain all day and I was trying really hard not to worry that I was having another MS flare-up. I was quiet at dinner and went to bed with prayers that my arm would be better, not worse, the next day. It was. Thank God. That day was the day of purgation. My period started this day and the Dr. said that we couldn't have planned it any better. Why? Because I need two days of rest/no treatment post-purgation and there's also no treatment while on the cycle. So, in essence, it's perfectly planned. Thanks again energies. My arm hurt a bit the day of the purgation and lasted into the evening. Again, the Dr. said not to worry. He said that my body is exhausted - that it would be 40% tired with just the purge, but 90% also with the menses. The next morning, I felt better. I didn't go on any long walks or do any yoga. I just rested.
During that rest, I got an email from Dr. Geeta - an eccentric doctor that I'd met previously (Jan. 2009) in India. I'd travelled all the way across India with her (from Tamil Nadu to Gujurat) to do five days of Panchakarma at her house. Her house was freezing cold and she required me to listen to spooky chamber music from 'The Mother' of Sri Aurobindo Ashram. I did a runner for the airport, but she came after me and convinced me that she was supposed to teach me something. She was so earnest that I went back, finished the treatment and left her house feeling lighter, happier and more energetically vibrant than I ever had in my life. When my Bollywood actor friend picked me up at the airport after travelling from Gujurat, his mouth dropped and he told me that I had the glow that only the stars had in Bollywood (more on him soon). Anyway, it ended up working very well, but I'd always had a bit of a reluctance to go back to her, but fascination at the same time. Imagine then, how strange it was to get this email from her out of the blue after four years: "Hi Kyra, Where are you? What are you doing? I have moved permanently to Pondicherry. Here's my phone number. You can call or come anytime." It just so happens that my chakra yoga teacher from Thailand's guru has his school right next door and I'd been wondering if I'd ever have a chance to study there. Um.....
Naturally, I called her. I told her I was at an ashram getting ayurvedic treatment in India and she said 'come to me,' 'I want to make sure you have a child.' Well, that got me. I asked her if she knew I was in India. "Kyra, we have a soul connection, I keep telling you. Of course I know that you're in India. Come to me!" I didn't ask if she knew I wasn't yet pregnant, but really wanted to be. And so, the day after I emptied my toxins and was recovering, I had THIS tossing around in my mind. I looked at how I could get to Pondicherry: leave this ashram early, change my domestic flight from Bangalore to Pondicherry, move back Dubai a bit, etc. etc. etc. And you know what? My arm started hurting. A lot. When I slowed down and remembered that it's important to finish what one starts and not to go for the shiny new thing, even if it seems uniquely mystically alluring to me, I decided that I would finish this ashram and not go. My arm instantly felt better. Just. Like. That. Yet another new connection between me and my body. When I make a bad decision, my left arm hurts. Well, that's handy (no pun intended). Earlier that morning, I'd had a dream that my mom needed a new car and I was trying to convince her to buy a tried and true used Honda from Craigslist, but she wanted something like a shiny new Kia. I remembered this dream and thought perhaps it was a bit prescient.
Nonetheless, the allure of Dr. Geeta lingered. The next day, I called her to see how much it would be and what she was offering. She told me it was 10 days for about $1K (room, board and treatment) for prenatal education, 3 hours of external treatment plus 2 hours of internal treatment. She mentioned the good luck that I would be there during 'the Mother's' birthday. I asked if the internal treatment had anything to do with the Mother. 'Yes, with the Mother's blessing, you will be gifted with a child.' 'I am an ayurvedic MD and a gynecologist MD, as well as a devotee of the mother.' 'The last time you were with me, you felt her presence, remember?' 'I have people come to me from all over the world.' 'A negro couple came from Africa and they wanted a white child.' 'After four months of prenatal education and treatment with me, they had a white child with the blessings of the Mother.' Um...
And so the decision to go to Pondy was made: not this time around. I will instead pray to the energies and planets and gods and goddesses, as well as myself and my husband and the universe at large, as I continue to detoxify my body and move forward in a lighter manner - both physically and emotionally. I'm sorry, 'Mother', but I am quite well taken care of on this track and will stick with it. I was fortunate to study Chakra Yoga in Thailand and will continue to find my own way with me as a teacher. When I asked Dr. Ashwin his opinion, he guessed that she was opening a new buiness and contacted everyone that she knew rather than 'knowing' that I was in India. Perhaps I give this country too much credit for its mysticism. Perhaps not...
Dr. Ashwin says that the beauty of this place has to do with the 'innocence': the innocence of the people, the innocence of the water and the innocence of the forest. Indeed, throughout the day, we here children singing, pujas being done, birds singing (even peacocks in the morning), cows mooing, and only occassional - not constant- honking. As a Brahman village of 800 people, they respect the land and eachother. There is very little garbage on the streets, men are not openly urinating on the street, there is no begging or harassment, the children excitedly say 'hi' and keep going while giggling, and the calm in people's eyes is very relaxing and bright. The river is also unpolluted and swishes in front of the great temple at the base of steps leading down to it. If you stand in the river long enough, little fish gather at your feet and nibble off the dead skin. Just across the river (which can be walked across with ease) is a Vedantic school for young boys where they learn the yogic ways of life - you can often here 'The Gayatri Mantra' echoing across the river. The forest is the home of king cobras. The not so innocent three men that were stealing their venom for sale in Bombay were recently caught and punished - two of the people here heard them being whipped at the police station next door. Indeed, the forest is lush and verdant. I watched several dozen snowy egrets flying east at sunset across the green floor with a pinkish hue --- it was lovely. Every day, I see two new kinds of birds - bold and colorful. I have not yet seen a cobra and likely will not, but this forest is their primary home in India. They are scared of humans - don't worry, Mom.
I have a new companion with whom I take walks. His name is James and he's almost 60 years old and from London. From the age of 23, he has been a transcendental meditation (TM) teacher. He's not allowed to teach me TM meditation outside of a formal facility, but has a very calming presence and I like to meditate with him with my own methods. He's travelled all over the Middle East (in the 70s) to bring resonant peace to people in conflict. I like him very much and am happy to walk through the forests (on the path, not narrow cobra filled ones!) with him. It's just right.
So, as I let India enrapture me, as I heal, as I revive, as I feel lighter and more hopeful and more connected with my body than I have in years, I wonder...should I extend my stay a bit? I can still stay two extra weeks and be home in time for ovulation. I checked in with Matt who says that he's so busy with work and that if he were me, he'd stay. And so I called a couple of friends. Both are willing to meet me in Bangalore. Asif, the Bollywood (and now making quite a name for himself as a Tollywood) actor, said he'd rent a motorbike in Bangalore and we'd explore around Karnataka. (He is the geeky manager in the American movie 'Outsourced', btw). Sounds good, but Dr. Ashwin says I must stay in one place for at least two days while travelling. We can do that. I started to look into going to the State of MP to see tigers and ancient tantric ruins, but guess what? My arm started hurting. And then I remembered Dr. Ashwin's words about the innocence of Karnataka. Why not stay around here and explore. Just then, Asif called and suggested he pick me up here and we travel around this area for 2 days, then he can drop me off here and I'll be on my way to Bangalore...thank you energies of this local place once again.
And now, I'll go do gentle yoga again on the rooftop. The sun is nearly setting. I am hoping that the gypsy staying here will either be on his flute or guitar. I finally got his name when he gave a CD to a Swedish woman (a great teacher for me - my 50 year old walking partner who tells me I must meet the pain, not fear it) who left today. His name is Estas Tonne. Our wifi is too slow to download anything, but if you'd like a taste of what it sounds like around here, google him. Today I commented about the symphony of birds all around us and said he must find a lot of inspiration. He smiled and did a little lyrical gesture of his hand. He doesn't say much, but his gypsy guitar sure does...
I'm attaching a picture of 'Pappa' and the first born grandchild. They walk around this property with awe on their faces as they look at and listen to the innocent beauty of the forest. In one glimpse, they actually had the same childlike faces. The Brahman healing through nature tradition continues...I believe in the confluence of body, mind and spirit that Ayurveda offers. I told Dr. Ashwin that the western doctors suggested that I try a treatment of daily hormone injections for 10 days with three ultrasounds for an IUI. He gently explained that the reproductive layer is directly on top of the nervous system layer. "For you, with your MS, to inject any such hormones would cause great disruption to the nervous system." It's explanations like this that make me feel that I'm in exactly the right place to get myself balanced enough to let nature take its course. And if it doesn't, I will accept it, as with everything.
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